Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
