I murdered the dance floor call the cops
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize