forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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