oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
