you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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