Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
