I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
