haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
