I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
