Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just want to make out with him forever
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
