what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize