Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
