I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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