hotel room ftw
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
