And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
