Is it because I queefed?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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