i need an iv and a liver transplant
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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