I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
