You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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