I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
