well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
