I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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