Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
