She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
