Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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