I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
