um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
