Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
