Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
