can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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