OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
