We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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