She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
