Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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