Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
