it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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