she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
