She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Randomize
