I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
