...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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