I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
