I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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