Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
