im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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