problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
