you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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