Christians are straight up FREAKS
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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