WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
