so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I have tasted many bathrooms
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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