Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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