no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I wish you could order shots online.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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