maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
