She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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