Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
