May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
