I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
