Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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