I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
