roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
