i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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