In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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